Those tactics and prohibitions are part of the fuel that fuels addiction. Those who were caught were automatically expelled from their yeshiva. After all, I know it from childhood.
And that is true not only of prostitution. At its peak, Schlachter was operating four brothels in Jerusalem and another one at an apartment in Tel Aviv.
Many of the clients were from the Haredi community, he says. He became aware of the hypocrisy of the important rabbis who visited his establishments. Just to see their faces…! Those were formative moments Prostitutes Givat Shmuel me.
I felt that they were being punished for their hypocrisy. In the past they threw mud at me and today they were coming to be serviced. But with Prostitutes Givat Shmuel expansion of the business came troubles: Police raids and arrests became routine events.
It was very unpleasant. He burst in and found a client flogging her with a whip. He immediately threw him out. It was my responsibility. That episode prompted him yet again to change course. He decided to enroll in another yeshiva, this time Aish HaTorah in the Old City of Jerusalem, in a rabbinic-ordination program; he immersed himself once more in the Gemara familiar to him since childhood.
But shaking off his old Prostitutes Givat Shmuel proved difficult. She was newly observant, an amazing person. She knew everything, that I had been involved in prostitution and lived on the street.
I thought that if I married a Haredi woman I would be able to disconnect from everything that had been before.
The plan appeared to have worked — Schlachter seemed to have normalized his life. His wife became pregnant with their firstborn son and in he completed his rabbinical studies with marked success. He told the yeshiva head that he wanted to help foment a deep and meaningful change in Haredi society.
The rabbi gave him his blessing and Schlachter embarked on his new path. Despite his lack of professional credentials, he established an organization called Hazon Visionin Jerusalem, and recruited psychologists and rabbis, who set Prostitutes Givat Shmuel a training program. Which is not the way it happened with me. If there had been someone to listen to me, I would have Prostitutes Givat Shmuel saved.
Rabbi Israel Gantz, a leading Prostitutes Givat Shmuel in the community, was appointed president of the organization; Schlachter was involved in its day-to-day management. He undertook frequent fund-raising missions to the United States. At the same time, however, he became increasingly troubled. Like a junkie. To try to overcome these urges, I traveled with a friend and asked him to keep me in check. But in the end I had to shut down the organization. I told the rabbi I was resigning for personal reasons.
I went to a psychiatrist in the Prostitutes Givat Shmuel. Despite his deep despair, he rejected the proposal. It was then, as he was about to turn 30, that Schlachter finally felt the urge to undergo therapy himself.
Bartley IV.
This he did with Danny Brom, a clinical psychologist and founding director of the Jerusalem-based Israel Center for the Treatment of Psychotrauma. Brom has been his Prostitutes Givat Shmuel ever since, as well as his professional consultant.
Prostitutes Givat Shmuel studied at the Y. College in Jerusalem, which trains therapists for Prostitutes Givat Shmuel in the Orthodox and Haredi communities. For a number of years, he took courses in couples therapy and psychotherapy, afterward specializing in addictions.
What matters is who you are and how and with what tools you work. We hear all the time about assaults by therapists who have diplomas. I personally was acquainted with quite a few of them. Angels of destruction.
As in other communities, sexual addiction among Haredim has probably always existed, but developments involving the internet, which allows for increased access to pornographic content is confronting them — and Prostitutes Givat Shmuel — with new challenges. Guilt feelings heighten the need to escape into addiction, and thus a vicious circle is created. Those tactics and prohibitions are part of the fuel that fuels addiction.
One of the arguments is that the sperm that are wasted become angels of destruction and strike at a person after his death. The scare tactics and the judgmental attitude are translated into guilt feelings that intensify addiction. According to Schlachter, who sees masturbation as healthy and normal, addiction to sex in the Haredi community is not essentially different from that in secular society, both in terms of the scale of the phenomenon and its various manifestations: for example, visiting prostitutes, participating in sex parties, having extramarital affairs and engaging in voyeurism.
And, as opposed to addiction to alcohol or drugs, for sex addiction, generally, total abstention is Prostitutes Givat Shmuel a solution. One of the basic requirements of a husband, according to halakha religious lawis to maintain conjugal relations with his wife.
If you block it here, it will emerge there; block it there, Prostitutes Givat Shmuel will manifest in a different place. Prostitutes Givat Shmuel cannot be prevented without addressing its root. Initially, he encourages his patients to adopt a positive approach toward their addiction.
Addiction is born of pain, and it helps the psyche cope with that pain. That helps reduce the guilt feelings This is an important preliminary process, which is essential for making further progress.
Thereafter, Schlachter says, he tries together with his clients to uncover the emotional deficiency that initially gave rise to their addiction. For them the world is a threatening place, and they accept the sense of containment with the same obsessiveness they develop toward sex.
Most sex addicts are male, which is true not only in the Haredi community, he explains, but in any event, if the addict is in a relationship, therapy must involve both partners, whether straight or gay. Prostitutes Givat Shmuel years, he will use her as his sex slave, and she agrees to dance this dance with him, because she herself lacks a strong emotional anchor. If she had come from a healthy place, she probably would have set limits.
In therapy of this kind, an equal amount of work is done on her emotional world, on the source Prostitutes Givat Shmuel dependence.
How do you define successful therapy? The goal is not to redeem Prostitutes Givat Shmuel patient from his addiction; the therapist must not come with an agenda. The goal is to succeed in building confidence and to create an emotional anchor for the person. To say that success in therapy is a black-and-white thing — no.
If I help the patient to reduce his guilt feelings, to accept himself and build that emotional anchor, I have no doubt that this will also subsequently impact the need to escape into addiction. What made you want to tell your story Prostitutes Givat Shmuel the public? It was accompanied by a great deal of pain. There was terrible loneliness. Let me put it Prostitutes Givat Shmuel way: I wish I had never gone through Prostitutes Givat Shmuel this. But having done so, I want to leverage it as effectively as I can — in my work, in my interview with you, and in general.
Schlachter, who today is 47, divorced his first wife, and a few months later met Prostitutes Givat Shmuel Elenhoren. The two were married last year, and today live in Zichron Yaakov.
I say this as a given, not because I got over myself or tried to do so. Because things are good. I think time Prostitutes Givat Shmuel done its work. Helping other people has helped me to help myself. Open gallery view. Shraga Schlachter in his youth.
Schlachter, in his Prostitutes Givat Shmuel. Shraga Schlachter gives an interview on Channel 20 on the subject of sex addiction in the ultra-Orthodox community. Credit: Yael Elenhoren. Shraga Schlachter with his wife, Yael Elenhoren. Credit: Tomer Appelbaum. Schlachter at a workshop for men. Click the alert icon to follow topics: Orthodox Jews Jerusalem. Quinton Hooker. Yam Madar is last week best Israeli player, who plays abroad Photo: hapoeltlvbc.
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How a Notorious Pimp Became a Respected Rabbi and Sex Addiction Therapist
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